First it was the First Nations And we called them Neutral United Empire Loyalists Thought Independence was futile Southern rebels came up north Made Tennessee Avenue elite The property they “owned” in Dixie We’re not allowed on their gated street Les francophones sont arrivés Germans, Italians and Dutch Hard work was in their DNA They weren’t gonna be a crutch It’s who we are, Where we’re from Where we’ve been, How far we’ve come It’s not bustling, there’s no rat race No one’s hustling, or in your face No matter the weather We’re better together We’re the kinda sort That cares about Port Started out as Gravelley Bay Next to humble Humberstone More and more people came this way No one really felt all alone It started to assimilate Other villages forged in It was time to re-incorporate The town of Port Colborne Some famous folks were raised right here The first female judge in the land “Her” Honour Helen Kinnear The boys club stopped being “manned” A cradle for hockey players For the pros we were a feeder Bronco Horvath, Don Simmons And Ted Kennedy the Teeder It’s who we are, Where we’re from Where we’ve been, How far we’ve come It’s not bustling, there’s no rat race No one’s hustling, or in your face No matter the weather We’re better together We’re the kinda sort That cares about Port It’s not about the Canal It’s not about our beach There is no rationale Not something we can teach You just have to meet our folks No need to convince you We don’t even have to coax A trip here is overdue It’s easy like Sunday morning So laid back and relaxed You may find it boring Most of us found the knack It’s who we are, Where we’re from Where we’ve been, How far we’ve come It’s not bustling, there’s no rat race No one’s hustling, or in your face No matter the weather We’re better together We’re the kinda sort That cares about Port

Come on kids we’re going to Port Anyway we can cut it short A two hour drive, be a sport Gonna appeal to a higher court Not my fault we live far away I think it’s because you couldn’t stay Easy to live in, and fun to play Are we coming back the same day? Don’t tell your Nonna how you feel She works so hard to make our meal Don’t understand the lack of appeal Throw in Dairy Queen to seal the deal If I had a nickel, every time we have a fight You just want to argue, you do it out of spite Can’t you just be grateful for everything I do If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer to you The Carnival at Lions Field The haunted house in the backfield If you were scared, I was your shield Let you play Crown and Anchors wheel Remember sledding at HH Knoll Walking back up sure took its toll The day you almost hit a pole You pushed me towards it you arsehole The town was rolling in the dough That was before they sold Inco Maple Leaf Mills and Robin Hood Most people lost their livelihood If I had a nickel, every time we have a fight You just want to argue, you do it out of spite Can’t you just be grateful for everything I do If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer to you Had so much fun at Canal Days Rather be home watching the Jays Arabella has a tea room Do you remember Nickel beach The water there could use some bleach The fireworks on July the first Pretty good, I’ve seen worse So what do you kids want to do No movies in town, nor a Zoo So much stress you put me through You don’t get it, ain't got a clue You keep telling me the story Of hanging out at the quarry Smokin’ cigarettes in your glory To me it’s simply boring If I had a nickel, every time we have a fight You just want to argue, you do it out of spite Can’t you just be grateful for everything I do If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer to you It’s not that I hate this place But it’s your hometown, not mine I can’t relive your memories This place is your childhood shrine All I wanna do is hang with friends I wouldn’t be making so much noise Nothing you can do to make amends This town brings me limited joys You’re really gonna miss this place This I know to be true I don’t like the look on your face Didn’t mean to disappoint you If I had a nickel, every time we have a fight You just want to argue, you do it out of spite Can’t you just be grateful for everything I do If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer… If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer… If I had a nickel, I’d be five cents closer to you Why do I sound all doom and gloom

You’re asking for an update So much time has passed People change over time You weren’t keeping track Wanna know how we’re doin’ Been a while since you heard Regarding some school mates Well boy, here’s the word Rocco changed his name to Rick He makes peoples credit tick Sandra married a boy wonder Both living down under John loved playing drums School teacher he’s become Amber living on a farm God keeping her from harm People don’t stay the same So much time has passed If you were here you’d see Not be stuck in the past You never really checked in All the time you were gone You’re the one who moved away We’re the ones…who moved on George is still a tech nerd His location a little blurred Theresa saw a person’s wealth On the path to mental health Maureen has her own spa Decompressing your flaws Mike sadly passed away Just before his birthday People don’t stay the same So much time has passed If you were here you’d see Not be stuck in the past You never really checked in All the time you were gone You’re the one who moved away We’re the ones…who moved on Russell with his freckles out Now he catches speckled trout Gina was tough and cocky She’s now with captain Bobby Glen no bigger than a mouse Married with a full house Dana living long and well Caught under Johnny’s spell Takes a lot to stay in touch Can’t learn much on a visit I saw these people grow You blinked and missed it People don’t stay the same So much time has passed If you were here you’d see Not be stuck in the past You never really checked in All the time you were gone You’re the one who moved away We’re the ones…who moved on You never really checked in All the time you were gone You’re the one who moved away We’re the ones…who moved on

The bridge is up, what can I do Soon as I get here, what else is new A really long ship is coming through Captain is waving so is the crew Tons of cargo float through the great lakes Steering straight ahead, make no mistakes Try going faster for gods sake Taking so long, I’m barely awake The jackknife on the street of Main Bridge twenty for the railway Clarence Street bridge; Lake Erie’s gateway The Weir bridge where you catch fillets Holy Ship! that’s a lot of freight Bridge is up, now I gotta wait Now I’m gonna be a little late But that was life around Lock Eight Walk right up to the water’s edge Don’t see safeguards at the ledge Can’t see a barrier, nor a hedge What would they find if they ever dredge A wedding reception at the Hall A money gift is the protocol Pays for spaghetti and meatballs Need to be on time to eat it all Got two tickets to the Sabres game Facing off against the Flames Get to the border with nothing to claim These bloody boats are always to blame Holy Ship! that’s a lot of freight The bridge is starting to elevate Too late to sneak under the gate But that was life around Lock Eight Late for a movie at Lockview High Gotta ride my bike to the other side My first date will be nullified A tunnel needs no alibi Farmers Market near Legion Hall Getting there early a windfall First stop is the tomato stall Me and the seniors gonna brawl Softball tournament starting soon First pitch lobbing right at noon Don’t wanna look like a buffoon Get there faster in a hot-air balloon The bloody bridges make me scream Both my ears are blowing steam A true resident you are deemed If you’re stuck on one in a dream Traffic’s moving at a smidge Then Mayor Bob scratched an itch To the politicians he did pitch and then we got the people’s bridge Holy Ship! that’s a lot of freight Bridge is up, no need to wait It’s something we can celebrate Our new life around …….. Holy Ship! that’s a lot of freight Bridge is up, no need to wait It’s something we can celebrate Our new life around Lock Eight

West Street It’s the best street You can watch the ships go by While you’re eating apple pie There’s a smile on your face Because you found a parking space West Street Has the best treats Ice cream waffle cone Cotton Candy or Cookie Dough But if dinner is your wish You’ll get hooked on our fish West Street It’s a rest street Sit down and have a nod Or walk the promenade You won’t end up in the bay At the Boathouse, it’s one way When you hear the siren wail It’s the Seaway’s warning It can howl at anytime Except the early morning Is there another view with awe Maybe the canal in Panama West Street It’s a spend street Cute gifts easy to find Clothing that’s refined You can find a hidden treasure Shop with friends at your leisure West Street It’s a fest street Canal days major strip With vendors and tall ships Hit-a golf ball to the other side Our candy bars are deep fried WEST street…it can’t be BEAT!!!!

From across the ocean Opportunity they seek How will they blend in? What english do they speak? They come for a better life Hard work not a bother They brought their kids and wife Some even brought their brothers Jobs at the plants and mills They got paid by the hour They got extra benefits Like a 40 pound bag of flour Hey boss, I recommend That you should, hire them I’ll say time and again God bless, the Italians There’s one guy named Cesare (chezaray) The oldest one of the bunch There's Emilio and Seve (sevay) Did you see the size of their lunch? Look at the shoulders on Joe He must eat a ton of baloney Don’t mess with his brothers Mario, Vince and that Tony Hey boss, I recommend That you should, hire them I’ll say time and again God bless, the Italians Didn’t have much education Something they acknowledge But they can proudly claim They put all their kids through college Family so important At an early age, they teach Their picnics so enormous They take up half of Long Beach Hey boss, I recommend That you should, hire them I’ll say time and again God bless, the Italians No matter the celebration Receptions are never small When you’re at their weddings You’re lined up outside the hall They make homemade pasta But I enjoy a steak Hamburgers and hot dogs I’m such a mangia cake Hey boss, I recommend That you should, hire them I’ll say time and again God bless, the Italians You’re better off in the end God bless, the Italians Women work as hard as the men God bless, the Italians So glad we, let them in Dio Mio, bless the Italians!!

It’s almost the end of summer In Canada, that’s a bummer There’s one party that’s a must Civic weekend in August Music, rides and tons of food Enough to put me in the mood Gonna head on over, take a break For a hell of party, down by the Lake One more thing, to keep me awake It’s a hell of party, down by the Lake Fly a kite, or sail to the bay Something to do the next few days The locals here will treat you right Fireworks flare on the final night See the Tall ships and classic cars Party so much, forget where you are Gonna head on over, take a break For a hell of party, down by the Lake One more thing, to keep me awake It’s a hell of party, down by the Lake Dropoff the kids at Seaway Park Make sure you get 'em before its dark A slice of pizza, maybe two Wash it down with a local brew Live music for young and old Come sing and scream at HH Knoll So head on over, take a break For a hell of party, down by the Lake One more thing, to keep me awake It’s a hell of party, down by the Lake It’s a hell of party…….down by the Lake!

There’s a sweet little town When you’re heading down To Buffalo for a ride In southern Niagara They don’t want to brag-a A town with the Power of Pride Not talkin’ ‘bout Smithville Not even Stevensville This horseshoe is truly gold Float past Burnaby Gallop in Fort Erie Tunnel through Thorold I don’t give an Effingham About Pel-ham Fonthill roads can be slick Merritvale Speedway Golfing in Ridgeway And flash right by Fenwick Close by there’s two falls Niagara and the Balls You’ll even find two Forts There’s Erie to the south George at the rivers mouth In-between you’ll see the gorge, but I’m talking about Port Colborne My sweet hometown It makes my soul yearn For no other around It may not have it all, and some may agree It may be too small, but it’s just right for me Dain City’s a neighbourhood Nearby it’s Welland good Close to the rowing club I’m not the kinda fella Who dreams about Port Weller Or even Port Robinson St Catharines Grape and Wine But Jordan has more vines Wainfleet’s got the farms There’s a Lincoln and a West Sherkston has a shore Vineland is fruit galore No more Comet at Crystal Beach Niagara on the Lake Has High tea and fruitcake And Grimsby's a real peach, but I’m talking about Port Colborne My sweet hometown It makes my soul yearn For no other around It may not have it all, and some may agree It may be too small, but it’s just right for me It’s a really nice place For your kids to be raised On either side of the tracks If you’re scared your kids will End up in Lidsville Don’t worry, just relax Fifty eight and three Highways that meet At the corner of Micky Dees Easy to get around Parking spaces abound Driving here is such a breeze No need to convince you Give it a day or two There’s something worth to see Drive by Sugarloaf Hill You’ll see the shrinking mill An illusion hard to believe I’m talking about Port Colborne My sweet hometown It makes my soul yearn For no other around It may not have it all, and some may agree It may be too small, but it’s just right for me It may not have it all, and some may agree It may be too small, but it’s just…right…for…me!